I flip through a lot of real estate listings (A LOT!) Probably more than most Realtors on a daily basis. For the large part, most of the real estate descriptions are typical, uninspiring and sometimes even just plain boring. You know what I mean. They follow a common script with few variations. Yes, that’s rather easy on the brain in some ways. Gets the information across clear and succinctly.
On the other hand, every once in a while you will come across a listing description that stops you in your tracks and makes you burst out laughing or raise an eyebrow. The house might be a piece of cu-ca, but those are the ones you remember – just because of the write-up.
I thought I would put some of these together for your amusement. These are a couple I have come across in my home search over the past few months.
Have you ever thought,”Is today going to change my life?” Well even though this home may not change your life, its going to give you a great place to live! It has vinyl siding, adorable curb appeal and features mother in law suite upstairs. Built in 1910, [the city] was but a wee baby when this home was built. The stories it must have, huh? The wood floors are great, and floor plan had nice flow. You may not have a horse and carriage, but you will appreciate its history I am sure. X500 FLOOD PLAIN
I love how the realtor slipped in the wooden stake there at the end (flood plain).
This next one is from a home I featured a few months ago:
So let me start by being honest, I lost my kitchen. BUT, my glass is half full and this means no tear out when you were going to update me anyways! I do have wood floors, open feel and rural like lot. My plumbing is shot and is AS-IS. I do have detached one car garage though, full bath on main, and am located in [desirable, top-ranked school district] -so overlook the few short falls and bring your work gloves, I have potential.
Honesty and full-disclosure – love it!
I especially like the ones that are written from the house’s perspective:
I think its best to start here to save on gas due to it costing so much. But if you feel like you need to drive around for no reason just to make sure, that is fine. Its not my time you are wasting. I have new paint, carpet and appliances. Hot water boiler is nice and large deck off the rear. Lot could probably hold a garage if you need it, but make sure! Shed for additional storage. Look forward to meeting you. -Signed -ADORABLE HOME.
(These are actual listing descriptions I found on the local MLS – I kidd you not.)
Stay tuned – more to come as I happen upon them!